I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
