can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
