that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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