just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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