We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
