I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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