She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
