carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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