Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
