feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's blow job season.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He did a backflip because drugs
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
