is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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