How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
