Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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