I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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