Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
