Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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