Dual....:-)
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
