i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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