You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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