So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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