I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
