is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
