If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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