I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
