next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize