I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
