he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
