I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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