i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
