There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
