Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
