i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
