even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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