2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize