you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She bit a glass in half.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
