Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
