we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
