Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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