I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
