there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
