Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
