She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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