NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
