worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
