honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
