Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
