whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
