woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
