Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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