Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
