He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
