i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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