Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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