and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
