you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
