I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
