the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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