I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
