she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.