Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

I bet he comes in French.

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(626): I bet he comes in French. http://tfl.nu/k7nd

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(517): View more from Michigan

careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus

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(517): careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus http://tfl.nu/qcmy

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm

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(717): Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm http://tfl.nu/ao4q

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(856): View more from New Jersey

you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb

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(856): you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb http://tfl.nu/benk

Replies (34) Good night (4073) Bad night (976)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.

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(240): Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS. http://tfl.nu/2m4m

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(360): View more from Washington

Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.

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(360): Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe. http://tfl.nu/jop2

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(613): View more from Ontario

Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.

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(613): Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/rte8

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(858): View more from California

Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.

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(858): Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in. http://tfl.nu/efr3

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.

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(+44): I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you. http://tfl.nu/998a

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(406): View more from Montana

you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"

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(406): you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College" http://tfl.nu/x9bo

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.

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(931): Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned. http://tfl.nu/a2rg

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out

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(603): gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out http://tfl.nu/5cup

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.

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(252): Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question. http://tfl.nu/ellm

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(616): View more from Michigan

We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.

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(616): We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots. http://tfl.nu/koac

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(514): View more from Quebec

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!

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(514): OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR! http://tfl.nu/abrr

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