Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
