My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.