did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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