So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i think i have herpe
just one?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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