Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
