Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
