Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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