Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
