what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
